Back by popular demand.

I have been going internal lately. I needed to feel a bit more centered to write publicly. I am still in San Marcos and Kyle still has not been able to give me an answer as to when or if he will be here. He has, however, read my blog. He heard about it from his sister in law. His feelings about this blog are 50/50. Exactly the way he describes his love for me. He loves me 50 percent of the time. He hates me 50 percent of the time.

I have spent a lot of time crying. Wondering what will become of me or us. But, about two days ago I let everything go. I am prepared either way. I don't care what he does as long as he makes a decision and he is happy about his decision. But, he can't make a decision about us because he doesn't know what HE wants out of life.

I know what I want.

I am here in San Marcos. This is where I want to live. I have been looking for jobs and making connections. I have started substitute teaching (Not as much as I had hoped).

I have an interview for a middle school job in Austin. Although, I am comfortable only telling the truth and I hope they don't ask me about my future. Because I would truly only keep the job until the summer for the money. I know next year I will find a job closer to San Marcos. Funny how Mereta changed me that way. After living in Mereta I don't think I can live in Austin.

I have looked at two places to live. One is 500 and the other is 750. The one that is 500 is in Kyle and is a little cottage. It is kinda dumpy. The one that is 750 is EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!!!!!! I would have to get a roommate to afford it for awhile. It is perfect with or without Kyle.

I am good. I am happy. I am moving on. I am not angry. I am excited about the future.