Enjoying the journey

I realize that taking time is imperitive to a balanced life. Taking time with everything; and in my case taking time to decide about Kyle. At first I was curious as to how I could fix the problem.

Where the decisions I made my fault? I am responsible for not keeping my head on straight. I did fly off the handle a bit. I did call one of his buddies rude and dispicable wife a fat ass bitch. I did hurt my knee. I did move out there knowing he was giving up less than me. I did rush into getting married. I did talk shit about people who had 20,000 dollar weddings and then I ended up doing it myself.

But he bailed. He bailed when things got tough. He quit the relationship indirectly. Sure, I left San Angelo. He asked me too over and over and over again. I finally did. Now he says, "Well, you left". As if I came up with the idea.

When I was in the hospital for my knee surgery for three days, he took it upon himself to go party with his friends. Then when he did come back to the hospital at two in the morning he passed out. The nurses nor myself could wake him up. I had to have help using the bathroom. I couldn't walk.

A few months later he did something that made me leave the first time. I had made "friends" with a cute little single chic in San Angelo. She had asked him to use one of his jackets (Even though she had one of her own). She had wanted to see his man room, which is a place he will eventually make beer. They were out there for about 45 minutes before I went to go check on them. When I got there I overheard their conversation about me. He said (not verbatium) that he didn't want to have babies with me, not sure if he wanted to be married, and he was having dreams about other women, and said he was not happy. I had never heard this before....it came as a total shock. I had a few cocktails and became livid. He said that the coversation was not meant for my ears. Really, and it was made for her ears. After a day or two we