f@ck!!!!!

I am in San Angelo this morning. I couldn't sleep last night. I told Kyle that he could still fix our relationship. I am moving to Austin. All he would have to do is follow me.

I know that is where I need to be for my career. I am thinking about my career. I am thinking about stability and getting back to my core being. Getting back to my happiness. If he loves me. If he wants to make our marriage work he would follow.

Am I crazy? I freaked out and moved all of my stuff out. I wanted to kill him. I drove to Louisiana and wanted to move back. I was convinced up until last night I was getting a divorce. I know I love the man. But is it ruined? Have we gone to a point of no return? We have fought and yelled and name called and hurt each other. He hasn't cheated on me...or me him. We are still married.

Do we continue and end it? Will our relationship change? Will it be the same? Can we make it work? Are we capable of moving on?

ARGHHHHH.