Things are getting easier. In all areas. I am living for the first time in months. I am moving into my house tomorrow. I am overly pumped about this.
It is getting easier to be on my own and imagine life without Kyle. I choose to be with him. I don't need him. He made it perfectly clear today how much I don't need him.
He was supposed to come to Austin and help my dad load up all my stuff. He was supposed to help me move. I had no doubt he was coming. I mean, why wouldn't you pass up a chance to see your wife. It has been a month. I called him this morning to ask him about the kitchen stuff he needed to pack up before he came. We got some great stuff for our wedding, I wanted half. Until he moved here we could share. He said " I don't know if I will have the time to pack all of it". He gets off of work at 5. Then he said, " I don't think I can find boxes". I am sure his mom has some. Then he said, " well, I just might not get it done".
OK.
He then called me and said that he didn't get paid today, that he can't come down here. I said i would help him and give him gas money. I am broke but I am a martyr. He said he couldn't take my money. Nice. We are married, right?
Well. We are married legally. But, not really.
So. Another upset.
Why do I continue this? Am I a masochist? Something has got to give.
I had an expensive dinner with expensive wine all by myself. And it was glorious.
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1 comment:
you are such a beautiful person, friend, wife, lover, fighter, and pug owner, you deserve way better than what you have been given. i think it is amazing that you have been seeking God through this experience. now you know he will be there for you through anytime you have in your life. including the good ones that are yet to come. i love you and will miss you when i move but i know that you what you deserve will blind side you so quickly you won't even realize what is happening. keep your head up seeking the truth and you will be blessed.
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