I feel jipped.

I feel jipped. I am getting almost obsessive with my love for kyle. I think about him all the time. I am always trying to think of a new way to reach out to him. A new way to talk to him. He has shut me out. I feel like he doesn't even concern himself with me. The only solution is to take care of myself with the hopes that he will turn around. I will pray and wait patiently. I don't think I want too terribly much. I just want a husband and normalcy.

I think I am pointing out ways he can make his life better and he doesn't like it. He can tell me all the things that I need to do to make sure people around here accept me. "Watch what I say. Stop teaching outside of school. You are so angry all the time. People around here don't like your opinions". Blah blah blah.

I just want him to realize what he is worth. He is worth more than what he does for his father. He is worth more than living broke and letting bills go. He worth more than a repossessed truck. He can do anything he wants. I want him to be the best he can be and it has been a LONG fuckin' time since I have seen him smile. This pisses him off and he walks away. He walks away from communication. I just have to leave things unresolved until he makes peace with his life.

C'mon job interview.....once I am gone...(AGAIN) he can truly focus on himself.