i am crazy

I am crazy. Really I am. I have recently stopped taking anti-anxiety medicine and I am seeing the world with new lenses.

I had knee surgery on September 26th. It was the most painful thing I have gone through. Having a knee injury into a month of marriage is not easy. Getting off of "crazy pills" into month of marriage with a jacked up knee is not easy. I had started a new job a week before the knee injury. I have learned a lot about life, people, myself, and my marriage.

I don't think I want to teach anymore. I have really wanted to be a principal. I don't even know if I want to do that either.I really like slow mornings with my husband. Leaving the house at 6:45 when it is still dark outside is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I like living out in the country. To be honest, teachers are assholes. Female teachers in a small town are the most judgemental and catty bitches on the planet. I am anti-stress these days. Being down and out really teaches you to soul search....mainly because you can't do anything else.

I went to see a small business counselor this week. I want to start a doggie daycare. Kyle may start a import beer "haus". I have my teaching to fall back on. But, I tell you. I will never get ahead if i don't do something. I will tutor on the side to keep up with my "educator" skills.

I am learning about marriage too. Kyle and I are not crazy in love like when we were dating. We are moving into a different phase and sometimes we irritate the shit out of each other. We fight over the stupidest stuff and it is going to take work. It is goign to take maturity and a lot of real unconditional love.